So, Your Parents Are Getting Older… Now What?
Adulting Is Hard. We Got Your Back.
If you’re starting to worry about an aging parent, take a breath. You’re not alone. You don’t have to figure everything out today. But you do need a place to start.
That’s why I created Buried in Work. To make this process more human, more helpful, and a lot less overwhelming.
While Buried in Work has more than 150 Information Hubs to help you simplify estate planning and end-of-life tasks, below is a crash course on what you should know and where to begin if you’re just getting started.
Adam Zuckerman, JD/MBA
Founder, Buried in Work
Step One: Understand Where Things Stand
Before you make decisions or try to help, you need to know what’s already in place. What do they have? What’s missing? What’s current? What’s just sitting in a drawer?
Use our Estate Planning Pyramid to get a clear picture. It helps you focus on what matters most, starting with the basics and building from there.
The Estate Planning Pyramid
We designed this to help families build a solid plan from the ground up.
- Tier 1: Core (For Everyone)
These are the must-haves. A will. Power of attorney. Advance directives. Make sure they are signed and easy to find.
- Tier 2: Comprehensive (For Most)
These documents make things smoother for everyone. Think insurance details, digital accounts, and an inventory of what they own.
- Tier 3: Advanced (For Some)
These tools and concepts help in more complex situations. This includes family foundations, charitable remainder trusts, special needs planning, and strategies for larger estates.
Pro Tip: Here’s Are A Few Of The Must Haves For Your Parents From Tier 1 (Core).
Each has of the core concepts and documents below have their own Information Hub. You can click the to learn more.
If your parent or parents don’t have the above in place yet, that’s your first priority. If they do have them, take time to confirm the documents are signed, current, and easy to find.
Step Two: Make Sure You’re In A Position To Honor Their Wishes
Caring for aging parents is a lot of work. Many people are shocked to learn that managing things after someone passes away can take more than 500 hours.
With a little planning, you can make things much easier.
That’s where our End-of-Life Pathway comes in.
The End-of-Life Pathway Will Help You Understand What Your Parents Want To Have Happen, Empower You To Advocate On Their Behalf And Carry Out Their Wishes
This helps you understand what your parents want and prepares you to act on their behalf.
Each of the three steps below help you complete a Final Resting Place Instructions Worksheet.
- Step 1: Advance Care and End-of-Life Planning
Know what your parents want to happen and make sure someone is legally allowed to make decisions for them when needed.
- Step 2: Final Resting Place Planning
It’s not just burial or cremation anymore. There are more options than ever. Water cremation, composting, donation, green burial, and more. We break it down.
- Step 3: Final Tribute Planning
If they want a memorial or celebration of life, there are a lot of decisions to make. We help you think it through.
Step 3: Get Organized
Most people are surprised to learn that settling an estate takes over 500 hours. Not because the legal process is complex, but because no one knows where anything is.
Think of it like being asked to cook a full meal without a recipe. You do not know what ingredients you need, where they are, or even what the final dish is supposed to look like. That is what most families face. A giant scavenger hunt at the worst possible time.
Where is the will? Do they have an old bank account no one knows about? Is this the most recent insurance policy? What are the passwords? Who do we contact for the pension? What is the mortgage balance? Has this loan been paid off?
You do not have to solve all of that today. But you can start collecting the pieces.
Focus on a few key areas:
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Financial records and account details
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Passwords and digital accounts
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Property and real estate info
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Insurance policies
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Medical history and providers
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ID and personal documents
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Final wishes and instructions
If you want to DIY, we have dozens of Information Hubs dedicated to this topic to help you identify what to gather and what to do with it when the time comes.
For a guided experience, take a look at our CLEAR Kits. They walk you through the process of organizing everything in one place (from financial accounts to pet information) so no one is stuck digging through mystery folders or old file cabinets.
The point is not to finish everything today. The point is to stop making it up as you go.
Estate Organization Made Easy
Need Help Starting The Conversation?
Starting a conversation with your parents about their estate or end-of-life plans can feel awkward, emotional, or downright impossible. But it doesn’t have to be.
Tip: Make It a “Me” Problem
Instead of saying, “You need to get your documents in order,” try reframing the conversation around your own uncertainty:
“I’ve been thinking about what would happen if something unexpected came up, and I realized I don’t even know if we have the right documents. Can we go through a checklist together?”
Not sure where to begin? Take our free Estate Preparation Quiz in our Starting the Conversation Information Hub. It gives you a personalized starting point based on your parents’ current situation. You’ll receive:
- A score showing where things stand
- Copy-and-paste conversation openers
- Recommendations for what to ask next
You can also visit our full Start the Conversation Information Hub for free checklists, guides, and real-world advice.
Want Support from a Pro?
If the idea of doing this alone still feels overwhelming, we offer a guided facilitation session to help get the conversation rolling with our Start the Conversation With Your Parents service.
A 45-minute Zoom discussion with a Buried in Work facilitator to help ensure that the most important aspects of estate planning and end-of-life task preparation are covered..
Here’s how it works:
- One-on-One Facilitation
A professional facilitator joins a 45-minute Zoom call with your parents (or with all of you together), guiding the conversation with care and focus.
- Worksheets Included
You’ll receive filled-in versions of our Estate Summary Worksheet and Final Resting Place Instructions Worksheet to keep things organized and documented.
- No Legal Talk, Just What Matters
We won’t draft legal documents, but we’ll help your family get clear on values, wishes, and key non-financial planning topics.
- Flexible and Respectful
You can be part of the session, or we can lead the conversation directly with your parents. Recordings are available if requested.
Who Is This For?
- Adult children who want help breaking the ice
- Parents ready to start the conversation but unsure how
- Families who just need structure and a little nudge to get going
After your session, you’ll get a personalized summary and next steps to keep the momentum going.
Remember, this process isn’t about being perfect. You don’t have to start this process perfectly. You just have to start.
And we’re here to help you do it.
Still have questions? Contact us.