Share This Checklist
1. Understand the Purpose and Tone of the Eulogy
A eulogy should reflect the essence of the person’s life while offering comfort and connection to the audience.
1.1 Determine the Desired Tone
A eulogy can be formal, heartfelt, lighthearted, or a mix of emotions.
How to do this:
- Consider the personality of the deceased—were they serious, humorous, or deeply reflective?
- Reflect on the preferences of the family and audience—would they appreciate humor, personal anecdotes, or a more solemn tribute?
- Balance personal storytelling with universal themes that resonate with everyone attending.
Why it matters:
- Ensures the eulogy honors the person in a way that feels authentic
- Helps the audience connect and find comfort in shared memories
1.2 Identify the Time Limit and Audience
Understanding the setting and audience helps tailor the speech appropriately.
How to do this:
- Ask the officiant or funeral organizer how long the eulogy should be (3–5 minutes is typical).
- Consider the audience—will they include close family, a large group of friends, or professional colleagues?
- Keep the language clear, respectful, and relatable for all attendees.
Why it matters:
- Keeps the speech concise and engaging without losing key messages
- Ensures the content is appropriate and meaningful to the attendees
2. Gather Personal Stories and Memories
Selecting meaningful stories makes the eulogy personal and memorable.
2.1 Reflect on Their Life and Legacy
A strong eulogy captures the essence of the person’s journey.
How to do this:
- Consider their most defining qualities, values, and achievements.
- Reflect on key life moments, such as childhood, career, relationships, and passions.
- Think about what they taught others, how they made people feel, and their impact.
Why it matters:
- Ensures the eulogy tells a story rather than just listing facts
- Helps the audience connect emotionally with shared experiences
2.2 Collect Stories from Family and Friends
Including different perspectives creates a well-rounded tribute.
How to do this:
- Ask family members, friends, and colleagues for their favorite memories.
- Look at old photos, letters, or messages to recall significant moments.
- If applicable, include stories that show humor, kindness, or resilience.
Why it matters:
- Brings in a variety of perspectives that showcase different sides of the person
- Helps those in mourning feel included and recognized in the tribute
3. Structure the Eulogy
A clear structure keeps the speech organized and engaging.
3.1 Create an Introduction
Start with a warm, engaging opening that sets the tone.
How to do this:
- Begin with a personal greeting and acknowledgment of those present.
- Introduce yourself and your relationship to the deceased.
- Share a quote, memory, or characteristic that best defines them.
Example:
“Good morning, everyone. I’m [Your Name], and I had the great privilege of knowing [Deceased’s Name] as [your relationship]. Today, we gather to celebrate a life filled with kindness, laughter, and love. If there’s one thing [Deceased’s Name] taught us, it was the power of [a value they embodied, e.g., resilience, generosity, humor].”
Why it matters:
- Helps the audience connect and settle into the moment
- Sets up the tone and direction for the speech
3.2 Share Key Life Stories and Qualities
This section forms the heart of the eulogy, bringing the person’s character to life.
How to do this:
- Highlight 2–3 key aspects of their personality, such as kindness, humor, or dedication.
- Use specific stories that illustrate these traits.
- Keep it balanced—mix heartfelt moments with lighthearted ones if appropriate.
Example:
“One of my favorite memories of [Deceased’s Name] was when [share a meaningful, funny, or touching story]. It perfectly captures how they always [describe their characteristic—e.g., made everyone feel welcome, found humor in difficult times, supported their loved ones].”
Why it matters:
- Stories are memorable and help attendees feel emotionally connected
- Makes the eulogy engaging rather than just a list of facts
3.3 Conclude with a Meaningful Closing
End the eulogy with a heartfelt farewell and words of comfort.
How to do this:
- Summarize their impact and legacy in a few sentences.
- Offer a final thought, a piece of advice they lived by, or a quote they loved.
- Close with a warm goodbye or blessing.
Example:
“Though we say goodbye today, [Deceased’s Name] will always be with us in the lessons they taught, the kindness they shared, and the memories we hold dear. Let’s honor their legacy by [continuing a value they believed in, e.g., spreading kindness, staying strong, cherishing family].”
Why it matters:
- Leaves the audience with a sense of closure and inspiration
- Reinforces the person’s lasting influence on those they loved
4. Prepare and Deliver the Eulogy
Confidence and preparation will help you deliver a heartfelt speech.
4.1 Write the Eulogy in a Conversational Tone
A natural, conversational style makes the speech more engaging.
How to do this:
- Write as if you’re talking to a friend rather than reading a formal speech.
- Keep sentences short and easy to follow.
- Practice saying it out loud to ensure it flows naturally.
Why it matters:
- Prevents the eulogy from sounding robotic or overly formal
- Makes it easier to deliver naturally, even if emotions run high
4.2 Practice Reading Aloud
Practicing helps you stay calm and confident.
How to do this:
- Read through it multiple times, ideally in front of a mirror or loved one.
- Time yourself to ensure it’s within the expected duration.
- Mark pauses and emphasis to enhance delivery.
Why it matters:
- Helps prevent stumbling over words or losing your place
- Increases comfort and confidence when speaking in front of others
4.3 Prepare for Emotion While Speaking
Delivering a eulogy can be emotional, and that’s okay.
How to do this:
- Take deep breaths and pause if you feel overwhelmed.
- Have a glass of water and tissues nearby.
- Ask someone else to be ready to step in if needed.
Why it matters:
- Allows you to speak authentically without feeling pressure to be perfect
- Ensures the message is delivered, even if emotions arise
Final Thoughts
Writing and delivering a eulogy is one of the most meaningful ways to honor a loved one’s memory. It allows you to share their story, express gratitude, and bring comfort to those in mourning. By focusing on personal stories, a structured flow, and thoughtful delivery, you can create a heartfelt tribute that celebrates their life and legacy.
